


Whispers in the Dark

by WinterIsComing



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Smut, The Darkling isn't always a dick, first of all i'm sorry, i don't know what this is, lots of alina/darkling, no mal, sometimes but not always
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-09-23 10:43:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17078822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterIsComing/pseuds/WinterIsComing
Summary: The Darkling had had long time to think about how he wanted to spend his immortality. He found that he did not wish to see Alina spend hers with the Lantsov boy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as work. I'm terribly sorry.

He was in her room again, she knew that without even having to look at the armchair in the corner of her chambers. _His_ chambers, as they had once been so many months before. He often visited her in the small hours of the night and, although she had fought with him in the initial visits, she had become comforted by his presence here.

None of her friends knew of his visits to her in the dark and she had no intention of them knowing. No, not when things were still so new and tentative between them all. Agreements had been struck between Nikolai and the Darkling, initiated by a quick but brutal blow to the King, Queen and snivelling Crown Prince. Everyone had expected the Darkling to claim the throne for himself and continue in his reign of terror after his attack but to their surprise the Darkling had simply announced that it would be Nikolai who would be taking the throne in the place of his father. Nikolai was as shocked as the others, more skeptical than them especially after the bloodshed and brutality that he had endured at the hands of the Darkling but had agreed to work with him to liberate Ravka. The Darkling wasn’t beloved by the people, not as Nikolai was, but he demanded respect and an equality for Grisha. No, he was not loved by the people, but they did not dare challenge him as Nikolai’s right hand.

However, despite all of this, all that had changed, it did not explain the routine that Alina and the Darkling had fallen into. Quietly they spent time together in the shadows. Not as lovers but as companions, almost as friends. It was in each other that they both found peace and exchanging word with him in the dark had become her daily reprieve from the chaos of life round about her. Even with the changing attitudes towards Grisha and their power, Alina still found that she did not quite fit amongst these people and she found she did not _want_ to fit in with them. Did not quite belong and found the presence of the Darkling to be a balm after the long days in court and meetings. Unlike the Darkling she was beloved to the people, as she remained the only real threat to the Darkling should he change his mind and wipe them all off of the face of this land, but she found that she did not want this Sainthood that had been forced upon her. The Darkling was one of the few who saw her power but did not expect her to be this idol.

So here she was, alone in her rooms with the Darkling as her only company. She knew why he was here, why he had come tonight of all nights. It was the same reason she was lying here in the dark. She had spent the day in council with Nikolai and his advisers, the Darkling’s presence among those advisers making them jumpy at best. They were arguing over the request for a cease fire between Ravka and the Fjerdans that had arrived this morning. It wasn’t an outright refusal of Nikolai’s proposal to them but they had challenged him and what this agreement would mean for them. They considered him untried and untested as a ruler and considering that he had become the last of the Lantsov line and was unmarried and without an heir… they didn’t believe that an alliance between the lands would offer much to them. The Fjerdan rulers had children and there was no chance of any of them marrying into the Lantsov bloodline when Nikolai was unmarried and without an heir. One of Nikolai’s advisers had made a passing comment about a marriage and who would be suitable to fill the role of Queen of Ravka. Half of the council room had looked to Alina, expecting. She had known that these sycophants would push the cause. The Darkling had remained quiet throughout the conversation but Alina knew that from the icy expression on his face that the adviser had hit a nerve he didn’t realise he’d hit. She had left not long after the conversation had veered in this direction.

“The Lantsov boy is considering making you his Queen,” was all he said by way of greeting. His voice was even, steady. To anyone else, the statement may have come across as indifferent. She huffed a laugh.

“Nikolai is brash and head strong, but he isn’t a fool.”

“You didn’t stay for the rest of the meeting. He knows that marriage is one of the only ways to ensure the Fjerdans don’t rise up. A marriage with the Sun Summoner would ensure Ravka remained in control of the power. With you and me at Nikolai’s side, they wouldn’t try anything foolish to endanger their lands. And any offspring with such a powerful Grisha…”

“Then they had best turn their attention elsewhere. I have given enough of myself. I will not tie myself into a loveless union for the sake of power.”

“He has tried before to make you his bride.” He had, all those months ago. She had said no, turned down his proposal and dismissed it as nothing more than a desperate attempt to derail the Darklings plans when he was hell bent on killing them all. She loved Nikolai, he was her family now but the thought of marrying him… She could not think of his hands on her.

“And it didn’t work out for him then either. I didn’t think he would take the proposition of his advisers so seriously. He is my friend. Nikolai must know that after everything I have no desire to be a Queen.”

He was quiet for a moment, considering, before he said softly, “And what do you desire, Alina?” The question was little more than a breath but she heard it in the still room. There was no fire blazing in the hearth, she hadn’t bothered to light one after the headache of the afternoon. She had simply returned to her room and thrown herself on to the large black bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. She had remained that way even when he had arrived in her rooms, hadn’t bothered to move.

That was a question she didn’t know how to answer, not to him, not without facing what she refused to admit to herself. They weren’t lovers but they weren’t friends either. They never had been friends because there had always been this thing between them. Something palpable and living and that thing had only grown in the moments they had spent in the Queen’s living room all those months ago. She had _burned_ for him when he had touched her, kissed her, held her against the wall with their bodies touching in all places that mattered. Everything had changed since that moment but neither of them were willing to admit it, voice it, act on it. They had spent this time together talking and debating but not as they did in the council rooms. No, they spoke of books they had read and places he had seen and she had confessed so much into the dark that he knew her better than she likely even knew herself. Sometimes they sat ignoring each other, both engrossed in whatever scroll or book that required their attention. Sometimes they lay beside each other and said nothing. But they found comfort in it all nonetheless. The mattress dipped beside her as he sat and she finally turned to look at him.

“What is it that you desire, Alina?” He said again.

“I do not desire Nikolai.” Since that night, she had not been able to think about anyone but him. Mal… She had wanted him once, had wanted him to love her but now she could not bare to think of his hands on her. But the Darkling… She sat up on the bed, propping her arms behind her to level their gazes the best she could. There were inches between their faces, their breaths mingling.

“I have faced my immortality alone. I have seen and done and tasted so much of life that I find little left in it to desire. I do not desire you,” he said, a breath between them. She was so focused on his eyes that it took a moment for the words to register. He didn’t miss the flash of hurt that crossed her face at his words. Alina made to pull away from him but he grabbed her chin, holding her gaze. “I do not desire you, Alina, because I find that I need you, as if every fibre of what I am is tied to you. I have faced my immortality alone,” he said, “but I find that I no longer wish to be alone.” It was perhaps one of the most vulnerable things that he had voiced to her and she wondered if anyone in all his long years had heard him utter something so raw. He wasn’t known for displaying emotions like this. Wrath and fury but never such stark honesty.

“That night… At the party when we…” When the world had gone to hell, she thought. “It hasn’t been the same between us. But it is hard to trust your intentions. What is to stop you to from changing your mind and wiping us all out in one blow. Why put Nikolai on the throne? Why not just take what you want and damn the consequences of everyone else?”

“Perhaps the Lantsov boy will prove to be a worthy cause to back. His father was a fool, stupid and narrow-minded to his own selfish need. I have had a long, long time to think of what I’ve done and what I need to do in order to restore Ravka and stop the bloodshed and discrimination of the Grisha. The Lantsov boy is mortal, I will outlive the years he has left, _you_ will outlive him. Perhaps he will alter the course of Ravka’s future with the right guidance but I will not see him do so with you as his bride. You are not his prize.”

There was a flare in his temper, dark hair falling into his eyes, and his breath was warm as it passed over her face and he was so close. It would take but half a thought to close that small gap between their faces, to press their lips together. Her eyes dropped quickly to his mouth and back to his eyes. He said again, finally, “What is it that you desire, Alina?”

“You.”

His hands were in her hair in an instant, pale skin twisting and pulling, as he brought their lips together. It wasn't a gentle kiss. No, it had never been gentle with the Darkling. Alina moved her arms to grab onto him, one arm moving around his neck and the other hand fisting into his black kefta. Burning. That’s what it felt like to be touched by him again, consumed by him. Pull and push, they both took and gave and devoured. She wanted to feel him everywhere, had never wanted another person with such a ferocity. His body leaned into her, pressing her back into the bed, but didn’t break their kiss for a moment. His tongue swept into her mouth, hands moving down her body and fingertips passing along the underside of her breasts.

There was a knock on the chamber door and dimly it registered in the back of her head that there was someone on the other side of her door. But the hands on her, the hard body pressed against her… Her fingers moved around the fabric of his kefta and her fingertips met the warm smooth skin beneath. He growled in response to her curious fingers. Neither Alina or the Darkling stopped what they were doing. The Darklings mouth was on her neck and she arched back into the bed as his teeth nipped and tugged at the smooth skin. His hands had drifted up, cupping her breasts in this hands and squeezing. The moan that slipped past her lips was nothing short of sinful.

“Alina?” It was Nikolai. That was who had been knocking and Alina hadn’t… She was sprawled out on her bed with the Darkling’s hands on her breasts, small bruises forming on her neck and moaning at what he was doing to her body. The Darkling moved back from her but remained sitting beside her on the bed. Alina sat upright and stared at Nikolai, watching something akin to hurt flash across his face. It was gone as quickly as it had appeared but she had seen it. 

The Darkling leaned in close to her ear, his voice a breath against her ear. “This isn’t over. We are not finished here.” And he was gone. He hadn’t been real, hadn’t really been in her rooms. He had taken up residence in another suit in the Little Palace. He had come to her as he once had.  _ Not real, not real, not real _ .


	2. Chapter 2

 

Nikolai was still staring at her, at the place on the bed where the Darkling had been just moments before. A ghost, a whisper in the dark room. 

“How long?” He asked her. “How long has this been going on?”

“It hasn’t. This wasn’t anything,” she told him but it sounded feeble even to her own ears How could she explain? What was there to explain? There wasn’t anything to explain even if she felt like she had to say something. It wasn’t any of their business. She didn’t belong to any of them.

“There is little point to lying about it. It didn’t look like nothing. His hands were all over you,  _ you _ were just as bad.” He shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he had walked into.  “He isn't the enemy, or so he claims, but he is still a monster, Alina.”

“I know who he is, Nikolai. I'm not lying either, there is nothing going on between us.”

“The look on your face says otherwise.” There was still a dazed expression on her face and she wouldn't shift it even if she could. His hands had brought her to life. Yes, she thought, she would be happy to burn for him. “Why was he here in your rooms if that was nothing? Have the two of you been conspiring together and then uniting against us in all these meetings?” Alina let out a short laugh at that. He was smarter than to assume such things.

“No, Nikolai, don't be absurd. There is no plotting or planning going on. We are not working against you!”

“Then what is it?” He had never sounded so  _ pained. “ _ What is it about him that I can't give you? You heard the conversation in that council meeting today. You knew what was to be expected of me, of  _ us _ . I came here for you to make it clear I wasn’t just going to offer a loveless alliance.” A bitter laugh left his lips. “Only for me to come here to you and find the two of you grabbing at each other in the dark!”

_ That _ had been the wrong thing to say to her. “I am not expected to do anything. I fought and bled too. Suffered for these people who would have let me die if they thought it would have given them the slightest chance at survival.” She was on her feet now and took a few steps towards where he stood. He had since moved into the room, the door shut firmly behind him. “Am I not my own person? Am I not free to make my own choices? I have given  _ enough _ . I sit in these meetings and soothe the people and show my power to remind our enemies that we have the control. But I will not be married off in some power bid. You are my friend and my king, Nikolai, but you are not my lover or my keeper.” There was no point to this argument. She didn’t want Nikolai, didn’t crave his touch. There had been a time when she had thought… But it was a nothing but a selfish thought from a lonely girl. She wasn’t the same person she had been when she was first dragged into the ranks of the Grisha, she couldn’t be. Hell she wasn’t even the same girl she had been when she had first met Nikolai. It would be easy to love him, any sane person could see that, but she found that her heart did not sing for such things. There had been hurt on his face when he had first walked into her room and saw them together, a tangle of limbs and despite the anger simmering within her she still cared about how he felt. Her anger withered. “Why are you here?” She asked with none of the venom from moments before. He was standing closer to her now. His eyes bore into hers and she felt that gaze strip her bare. 

“Because I had hoped that it would be me. Forget the politics. I hoped to be the one you wanted.” He pressed his lips to hers, strong hands moving to hold the curve of her waist. She didn’t pull back but didn’t return the kiss either. It wasn’t a bad kiss, it was warm and sweet and teasing and something that was so totally him. There was rush from the contact, from having this beautiful man so close to her that made her head swim a little. Just a little.

She had never attracted the attention of so many men. But in the short time since the world had turned on its head there had been Mal, The Darkling and now Nikolai. But she knew, in her damaged and twisted heart who would hold her affections. Palm against Nikolai’s thundering heart, she pushed him gently away but firmly. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers.

“You have become so cold, Alina, so unlike you. I won't lose you to him. I won’t let you become like him.”

Stepping out of his touch, she said, “I’m not yours to lose.”

 

~*~*~*~

 

Alina had expected to wake the next morning to find the whole world had turned against her. Nikolai had left her the previous night without another word and The Darkling had not returned to her rooms. She had remained into her rooms, staring at the dark expanse of ceiling above her bed thinking of how quickly everything seemed to slip so precariously out of her hands. It wasn’t fair for the world to assume that she would just continue to give more and more and more of herself until there was nothing left. She had bleed and suffered enough for Ravka. Granted a lot of the pain had come from the hands of the Darkling… But he had given her more than the people of these palaces had ever given her. He had shown her that she was powerful and unique. Had shown her how to master herself and her power and call to her the might of the sun. She was power. She was not a pawn for these people. .

Her friends were unlikely to understand the pull she felt towards him, but then hadn’t the Darkling always told her that? That they would never understand her, not in the way he did because despite how much she might want to fight it, fight  _ him _ , they were the same.  _ Like calls to like. _

As it turned out, much to her surprise, the world had not turned against her for her decisions and actions of the night before. But she had woken to a letter with her name written so elegantly in black across the front of the parchment. She knew who it was from the second she had spotted it and her thoughts of Nikolai flew from her mind as she took it in her hand.

 

_ Alina, _

_ Join me for dinner this evening in my rooms. We have some unfinished business to attend to. _

 

He hadn’t signed the letter but he didn’t need too. There was a warmth quickly spreading through her like wildfire and it settled in the place between her legs. The response had been instantaneous. She hadn’t forgotten how it had felt to have him press her into the mattress as he had the previous night, hands tracing her curves and lips lingering on her neck. He must know that she had no… experience in such matters and that she was nothing more than a fumbling novice when it came to such things. But she had felt the evidence of his arousal pressed against her through his clothes and there had been in mistaking the burning need blazing in his silver eyes.

If she went to his rooms as per his request she was certain in her heart that she knew what the outcome of the night would be. She knew how this would end. Would she be leaving his rooms tonight? She was going to need some female assistance before she left for his rooms.

She knew that she would have to face Nikolai eventually. They were friends despite the additional things he might want from her and ignoring the issue, much as she might wish to, would only cause the rift between the two friends to grow. Thankfully there would be no more meetings for the next two days, they would resume again at the start of the new week. That conversation could wait. There were some things she needed to sort out for herself before she faced him again.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Genya stared wide eyed at Alina.

 

Alina had joined her friend for lunch and asked her to join her after in her rooms. The two girls had chatted throughout their lunch and it seemed as if her friend remained blissfully unaware of the events of the previous night. Which was going to leave Alina the pleasure of telling her friend of the plans she had for the evening. Genya was talking about David as they walked back to Alina’s room from the hall, the walk short as she was still residing in the Darklings old rooms at the back of the hall. David was becoming increasingly more aware of Genya, he had since the incident with her face and was helping her work on a salve to alleviate some of the scarring. Alina hadn't missed the way Genya had casually mentioned that the fabrikator had kissed her after their time in their his workshop before hastily retreating back to his work. The two would come to terms with their relationship sooner rather than later, but it did help that David seemed to be more  _ comfortable  _ around Genya. 

 

Upon arriving in her rooms, the two took up their places on the sofa soaking up the heat from the fire nearby. Winter was finally releasing its hold on the Os Alta but the cold remained biting well into the spring. 

“So what did you need me for, Alina? It's been an age since you've asked me here.” Genya said with a mock pout. Alina had spent a good deal of time with the red haired girl but had refrained from inviting her back to her rooms, unsure of how she would react being in the space the Darkling had once inhabited.

“There's two things. I need you to help me pick out some clothing for dinner tonight,” she said carefully watching her friends reaction. 

“Dinner? With who? Oh, Alina is it-”

“It isn't with Nikolai. And Mal isn't here.” Mal had been gone from the Little Palace for months. He at the border monitoring the situation. She hadn't heard much about it and, since he didn't respond to her letters, she doubted she would until he returned. Genya’s brow furrowed. 

“Then I don't know who-” she stopped herself eyes going wide. 

“The Darkling has asked me to join him for dinner this evening.” Alina told her and then realised how stupid and heartless she was for even thinking about asking for her friend’s help. What the Darkling had done to her face… And now she was asking her for help, about to tell her what was going to happen, what had almost happened- “Genya, I'm sorry I didn't think.”

Her friends eyes clouded for a second, just a second before she said, “No, Alina. It's okay. Tell me what's going on.”

“Are you sure? After what he did to you-”

“No, Alina, I made the decision to follow him. I  _ chose _ then just as I chose to help you escape. I gave him my trust and as much as I disagreed with his plans, I still chose to go against him. I don’t disagree with his goals, just… his methods. I just wish he’d been a little kinder to my face but, alas.” Her gaze was steady as she focused her attention on Alina’s face. There was the smallest smile on her ruined lips. “Besides, it helped David see what had been right in front of him all this time and it’s refreshing to have someone want me for me and not just my pretty face.” Just like that the tension dissipated between the two friends. “So, what’s going on with the two of you? Tell me everything.”

And Alina did. Well, almost everything. She told her about the previous night and how he had come to her rooms, what Nikolai had walked in on. Genya hadn’t been present for the discussion in the council meeting but somehow the redhead new a good deal about it all.

“The Darkling is a dangerous man. I wouldn’t try and provoke any jealous tendencies from him. If he wants something then there is little to stop him taking what he wants.”  _ Or who he wants _ , Alina thought with a shudder.

“I think that was why he came to me last night. I don’t think he appreciated the idea of a marriage between me and Nikolai. But he didn’t even seem angry when Nikolai appeared. He just… left.” And left things between them unfinished.

“And now he’s asked you to join him for dinner tonight? And you’re going to go to him?” Genya raised an eyebrow, knowing exactly how he planned the evening to go.

“I am. That’s why I need your help.”

"The beautiful bastard isn't going to know what hit him when I'm through with you." There was pure wicked delight in the grin she flashed Alina.

 

*~*~*~

 

The Lantsov boy’s unannounced visit last night had been more than a minor inconvenience for the Darkling. He had been appearing in her rooms for weeks now and with each passing day had found it harder and harder  _ not _ to visit her there. They had both slipped into this tentative dance that was so unlike himself but he found himself reluctant to break free from the habit. Her presence was a balm to the ruckus of court life. He had forgotten how much he loathed the noise and drama of such things and it appeared Alina shared his mentality towards court. He hadn't intended the outcome that the previous night had brought about. He had gone to her to stake a claim, to make it clear that he wanted her and wouldn't allow her to settle for the sobachka. The discussions of Nikolai making Alina his wife unnerved him more than he would ever admit to and when he had gone to her rooms, the mere thought of the Lantsov boy touching her had made his blood go cold. He would not allow such a thing to transpire. And when Alina had told him that it was him that she wanted his control had slipped entirely. The kiss hadn't been enough. 

The Darkling had been drawn to Alina since the moment those guards had thrust her before him in that tent a lifetime ago. She seemed so small and insignificant at that time but his power had felt that there was something about the girl that called to him. Nothing in all his long years had caused him to feel such a presence under his skin. He had been a fool to pretend that it meant that nothing in his plans would change.

From that moment he had wanted her. He had taken lovers over the years. Grisha often failed to resist the draw of his powers and thus he had taken lovers, male and female. None had remained constant and both parties knew that these couplings were a one time thing. But none of these lovers had caused the fractures in his self restraint as Alina had and what made it worse was how effortlessly she had swept into his life and shattered the defences he had kept built around himself. He had plans that had been set in his mind for many long years and yet, with her, the axis of the world seemed to tilt completely and all those plans he had spent so long carefully crafting had been swept away by the light of this saint. She was a weakness and he had told her as much that night at the Fete when he had been so consumed in his lust and hunger for her body that he would have taken her there against the wall, savage and brutal.

But the axis of his world had since shifted. His goals remained the same but perhaps she was the change that was needed, if she would agree to work with him. Maybe she was his weakness but perhaps she was also his salvation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've no idea what is evening going on in this fic. I'm making it up as I go a long. There might just be one more chapter after this unless I can figure out what else to do with it. There there will be so much smut in the next chapter. So much.  
> And I'm not even sorry.


End file.
